Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize