This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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