What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
