you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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