If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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