I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
