I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
