Your face is a jimmy john
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
