go do what you do best...puke behind churches
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
