She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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