drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
