Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
