I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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