I'm eating all of the evidence.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
