We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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