Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize