No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
