with your own penis?
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
