Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
My liver just had a heart attack.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize