There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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