just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
