All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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