This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
