If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
