dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
