We're facebook friends in real life
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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