please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Bring me that man meat
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
