When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize