We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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