I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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