Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
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