sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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