she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
