Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
