Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize