bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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