Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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