dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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