its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
