um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
This toilet bowl is my home.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
