talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
