If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
