Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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