Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
