so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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