We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
