Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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