Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
