It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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