Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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