Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he shaved USA in his pubs
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
