problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize