So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
