ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
