"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
