well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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