omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
