47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
