I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
