I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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