Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
